4  Journaling

Logs

Maintain one or more logs of these things happening, including the date:

• An event that is significant, suspected to be significant, or surprisingly good (it doesn’t matter how big the event itself is)
• Recognition of a high level of thoughts about a person
• Having an idea of what could happen in the near future

The logs can help you:

• Tell and analyze your stories
• Recognize self-improvement and the potentially surprising speed of it
• Knowing “what the heck was I thinking” after a situation

Writing what you like

Maintain a written list of what you might admire or require in people. Use your observations, imagination, and values. For some people, consider making separate lists of more specific observations or experiences involving them.

This gives you a less foggy perception of people. In a search for someone good enough for you, it resists the confirmation bias caused by the appeal of the idea that the search is easy or already finished.

The whole thing should not be used as a checklist, and it should keep on evolving. It’s just additional input to intuition.